The Plan
by TheRealOGMai
Summary: Butch has a girlfriend, a rather annoying one at that. Things having been complicted for the two. Butch has a simple plan to end it all, and Buttercup is going to help. His plan will effect their lives forever. Slight cursing, like one or two words nothing serious. Humor
"Butch!"

Oh god, what does she want now...

"Butch, you didn't call me back after I called you a million times!"

Butch rolled his eyes,"Well I'm on the phone now right?"(irritated tone)

"Look,you don't have to be so snappy. I was worried about you!"

"Worried about me for what?! Before you called me a million times, you were over by my apartment! That was only an hour ago Kelsie!"

"You don't need to yell! Matter a fact I think we need a break from each other."

"Ha that's funny. I'm the one who's supposed to say that, not your clingy self."

~CLICK

"That woman is getting on my last nerve!"

~ring ring~

"WHAT!"

"Whoa,did I do something wrong, cause last time I checked I didn't."

Huh, oh! Sorry Butters, I thought you were Kelsie."

"Ohhhh... Another fight, huh?"

"Yep, I'm just gonna drop her completely. Heck, now that I'm thinking about it, I spent so much time on a loss. I need to get back in the dating scene..."

"Ok then playboy, have fun with that."

"Aye, Buttercup, you wanna hang out or something? You did say you wanted to go paint balling, right?"

"Oh,yeah! Let's go!"

~CLICK

"Well somebody's excited..."

~five minutes later  
BANG BANG

"Huff~huff I'm here. Oh lord... I think I need to sit down!"(cough cough)

"How did you get here so quickly?I know we have powers and all but, wow! I mean I planed on picking you up but...you obviously didn't give me enough time. I'm not finished dressing yet!" ~ pointing to himself~

"Yeah, like I can't already see your shirtless figure. No need to point it out. Even if it wasn't me at the door, I bet you would still be shirtless...you just love being shirtless."(sarcastic tone)

"Yeah, but since we are going paint balling I'm gonna triple my shirt. Those paint balls hurt, even with the Chemical X!"

"Yeah,yeah just hurry up so we can go!"

~after paint ball

"I ha-ha can't ha believe you did it."(laughing)

"You told me to do it right? Whatever you ask I do it."

"Ok slave..."

"Wtf! I'm not your slave!"

"Awwww ok. But really,taking a paintball in the back shirtless, you've got guts."

"Heh heh more like bal-"

"NO! NO MAN NO! Gosh I need to either get you a girlfriend soon or stop hanging out with you."

"Aww don't do that. I consider you a girlfriend without all the benefits."

"Oh really,that's how you feel."

"Uhh yeah..."

"Ok, well it's late and I'm sleepy so I'm gonna go take your bed after I get in my sleepwear."

"Aka your underwear, right?"

"Shaddup!"

BAM BAM BAM

"Man who is that so late?!"

"I'll get it B..."(waddles over to the door because her pants are at her feet)

"Aww crap it's Kelsie! I'll be in your room."(whispering about to run away)

Butch catches her by the arm "Wait I have a plan. I'm gonna dump her and I need your help."

"Noooo"

"Yessss, here's the plan."

(Buttercup opens the door)

"Oh! Hey Kelsie."

"Wtf! Why are you opening my man's door? Especially dressed like that!"

"Your man? Who's your man?"

(Butch sneaks up from behind and wraps his arms around Buttercups waist)

"What are you doing here Kelsie?"

"I came to apologize, but now I see it's you who needs to apologize!"

"Uhh no, me and you are over."

"What!"

SLAM! (Butch slams door in Kelsie's face and locks it)

"Ha ha that was so freaking funny"

"I know (yawn) I'm tired. Let's go to sleep."

"Ha let's!? I'm taking your bed...you are going to sleep on the couch."(mocking tone)

"It's a king size, so your gonna share!"

"Ugh I don't wanna share!"

"Ok let's wrestle for it."

"NO! YOUR WAY TOO HEAVY,AND YOU PLAY DIRTY! YOU WANNA KILL ME?!"

"Ok since you don't wanna do that...you gotta share!"( picks Buttercup up and throws her on his bed-gently though-)

"Humph ok...turd"

"Good girl~"

"I'm not your dog!"

"Heh heh good night my love."(baby voice)

"Stop irritating me please."

"Hah the little princess said please."

"I am the queen you slave."

"Heh ok I'm your slave and your my queen...my overall master. So that means that if I'm good I get a reward."

"PERVERT!"( try's to climb off the bed but Butch catches her)

"Ha! the master running away from the slave. That doesn't happen everyday!"( laughing like a madman)

"RELESE ME YOU CRAZY MAN!"

"Ok, but first you have to kiss me~"

"Are you for real?"

"Yeah one million percent"

~18 years later~  
"And that's the story of how we started dating."

"Which of course led marriage and then you five if you know what I mean."

"Uhhhhh we know what you mean dad..."

"Heh even your children think your a pervert."

"Well, think about it...my pervertedness led up to them so I think it's a great thing."

(Buttercup's thoughts)Hmm... Heh, now and then I wonder how ended up with my crazy, perverted, lovable jerk of a best friend. I mean anyone looking in from the outside would think we were the perfect match, but I think he is a madman... A very understanding and funny madman. Sometimes I want to kill him and sometimes I want to kiss him.

"So Ma, how long were you guys friends before all of this happened?"

"Ummmmm..."(thinking really hard)

"Oh come on Butters! It was five years! We became friends when you were fifteen and I was sixteen!"

"Oh yeah, yeah thats right."

(Butch's thoughts) She really had to think that hard about it? Heh she's still the same. I know she was joking,but man she's a great actress. She's everything I ever wanted. I can't believe we've been married for eighteen years. Damn it, I'm old...at least I don't look like it. I still look like I'm I  
in my twenty's, same goes for Butters. Four boys and one precious baby girl came out of our love for each other. Is it wrong to just say four boys and one precious baby girl?Nah...that girl is the only one I have so she is precious. Beth Jojo is my pride and joy. She has both her parents talents and personalities. She is without a doubt the ultimate package for any guy.(her words not mine) Heh, if any person of the opposite gender touches, looks or thinks about her,I'm going maul them like the crazy man I am! Heck even if a girl looks at her imma feel some type of way...

"Butters... I wanna have some more."

"Some more of what Butch?"

"Ya know,kids."

BAM!

(Butters, Beth, Brent, Brandon, Braxston, and Bane all fall to the floor)

"Man! This factory is closed!"

"Aww man! Y'all two still do that! This is bad,the image is stuck in my head and for some reason it's not grossing me out!"(Bane's freaking out)

"It's because our mom is fine..."

"My sons are perverts. No surprise there. They got it from their father..."

"HEY!"(all the guys yell)

"Heh,it's the truth and you know it."

"Not all sexy men are perverts. All five men in this house can get some action and know good 'things' when we see them. We are not afraid to point them out and flaunt what we've got."

"Well I already know that you guys flaunt what you've got. I mean c'mon! You motto is 'I'm too sexy for my shirt'!"

"Because it's true! We are too sexy for our shirts!"

"Okay..."

Ma, you have weird taste in men..."(Beth points to Butch)

Sigh~"I know, I know..."

"So dad, have you ever gotten Ma so mad that she almost broke up with you or vice versa?"

"Funny story..."

(Flashback)

"Butch...I've been wondering."

"What is it babe"

"I am gonna just say it...how many women have you been with before me?"

"Uhh..."

"What's wrong?"

"Why do you want to know this information so suddenly?"

"It just popped up... Why are you getting defensive about it?"

"Because it's a stupid random question!"

"So what I say is stupid now!?"

"Did I say that?! Stop putting words in my freaking mouth!"

"You know what, I'm done! I can't deal with you right now. You're keeping the number from me...how can I trust you?!"

"Nine...it's nine."

"N-nine...okay. Was that so bad?"

"Buttercup, I just didn't want you to think I was some of player or jerk..."

"B, I respect you too much for that, remember that during most of those relationships I was there helping get over them, and giving you advice?"

"Yeah you're right...sorry."

"I'm sorry too..."

"Dad, your stupid."

"I know...wait what!"

"Ha ha you feel for it."

"You are little stupid babe. Gotta admit that your a little "ditzy" at times and you don't think before you speak sometimes an-."

"I get it, I get it."

This is my first fanfic, hope you all liked it. I actually wrote this when I was around 12 or 13. I'm a bit older than that now! Any suggestions for another story? Doesn't necessarily have to be PPG related. Review please, I need tips!


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